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HEIDI

Happy 39th??? Birthday (a little belated) -Love, Your Secret Sister

Capricorn dec 22 jan 20 Don't be afraid to do something that will improve the life of someone close to you. Their improved happiness will improve your life as well. Remember, there are some things in life that can not be bought, but some that can. You can't buy happiness but you can buy a happy meal.

Aquarius jan 21 feb 19 Your ruler Uranus is being affected in ways that will help you let your hair down on Monday and Tuesday. Take those two days and enjoy a mental margarita, relax by a pool of pleasant thoughts and then be ready to return to hard work by the end of the week.

Pisces feb 20 mar 20 This is the time for you to be grand marshal in the parade that is your life. You are talented and you should exploit your skills to your benefit. Do not be afraid to show

off this week. Believe in what you can accomplish and others will believe in you as well!

Babble

Aries mar 21-apr 20

It is a critical time for you to plan your next move if you want to stay one step ahead of the competition. Think of all possible outcomes and choose the path that is right for you. The recent New Moon has enabled you to say what has to be said. Don't be shy expressing yourself.

Taurus apr 21 may 21 Pennies you have been saving in the bottom of your purse are a concern no more. Positive planetary influences in Gemini this week mean a positive increase in your financial picture. However, you also face a financial decision this week that can be very risky in the long run. Don't dismiss the risks involved, proceed slowly.

Gemini may 22 jun 21 The planets this week are telling you that "size doesn't matter" and you should concentrate on quality rather than quantity this week. Don't bite off more than you can chew, reaching your goals is easy for you this week. Just be certain your goals are clear in your mind.

Cancer jun 22 jul 23 The past few weeks have been particularly trying and you are about at the end of your rope. Buck up, the Sun in your birthsign this week is signalling more positive energy in your professional, personal and financial lives. Don't let minor worries get you down with major achieve-

ments ahead.

"Her legs have been insured for a million dollars each. So the urge on [my] last day was to kick her hard in the shins just to see. Former Entertainment Tonight anchor John Tesh kidding about his departure from the show and his co-anchor Mary Hart

Leo jul 24 aug 23

Now you are ideally positioned to resolve a complex situation involving a business partner or loved one. Astrological influences at the beginning of the week will allow you to fit the pieces of any puzzle together and see the entire picture more clearly.

Virgo aug 24 sep 23 The mid-heaven point of your solar chart is pointing to favorable opportunities in your status or career standing. Take advantage of an exciting idea on Monday, and then keep your eyes and ears open on Tuesday to complete the deal.

Libra sep 24 oct 23 Change is what you are in need of now. Change your scenery or direction and you can get what you really want. You will make a decisive move this week that will greatly affect others close to you. Be wise and thoughtful in your deliberations.

Scorpio oct 24 nov 22 Your family relations look promising now, but you must take the time to see things as they appear through someone else's eyes. No matter how right you feel you are; compromise will benefit you at the office more than contention.

You feel that you are in a relationship that, Sagittarius nov 23 dec 21 though not perfect, is well worth improving. Any effort you spend to improve communications and understanding will be worth it. The recent New Moon marks a crossroads for you. You must choose the route that will lead you to emotional fulfillment.

"If Julie [Andrews] wins, her award will be accepted by a very grateful Susan Lucci." Nathan Lane, host of the Tony Awards, joking about Julie Andrews decision to decline her nomination for Leading Actress in a Musical

"My ex-boyfriend has been pierced so many

"We find it curious that a group that claims to espouse family values would vote to boycott "Life has many choices: Ribbed, Lubricated times, when he gets an erection you can hear

the world's largest producer of wholesome family entertainment. We are not going to accede to their demands... We know of no tourist destination in the world that denies admission to people as the Baptist's are insisting we

do."

As reported on CNBC, The Disney Company's response to the Southern Baptist Convention's decision to boycott all Disney theme parks, movies and merchandise because the Baptist's feel Disney is too gay and lesbian friendly

and King-Sized."

Read on a T-shirt seen at Wall Street

radio."

Overheard Friday night at The Garage

"Well, yes. But mine are emotional so you "[The new Prime Minister of Israel] is Bencan't really see them."

On NBC's The Single Guy David Schwimmer's character Ross answering the question as to whether he has any childhood scars

jamin Netanyahu... So it's official now: The world leader with the silliest name is no longer Boutros Boutros-Ghali."

David Letterman on his CBS talk show Late Show

"Better buy me another drink, you're still "Quick, take our picture. We're drag queens ugly."

Two 'friends' dissing each other around closing at Slammer's

dressed up as boys."

Overheard at Thursday's amateur drag and strip night at Jerry's Red Dog

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